I feel like a fraud.

Or a failure, liar, hypocrite…insert whatever you’d like here.

There was a post a little while back that I shared how I get into these deep dark pits (Read about it here). No matter what I do to try to get out it’s like all my hands are doing is leaving claw marks on the cold walls. This is where I found myself for a few days in a row.

And I wasn’t going to post any of this. I mean, it’s not one’s first instinct to say “Hey! Look at me. I’m a Christian and I am acting like the devil himself!”  But really, if we think about it, that’s how a lot of people think. Christian or not.


Because we are not perfect!

And this is where so many people use the excuse of Christians being hypocrites.

They hear us preaching how one should act then they see us not acting that way.

I love this verse:

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. James 1:22-23

Well I’m here to tell you, we aren’t trying to “forget what we look like”.

Most of us are trying hard to hide the word in our hearts and live by it daily.

And we fail.

Take my recent bout in the pit for example.

I don’t know why but I got into a mood (in all actuality it was probably because I gave the devil a good solid foothold). I was annoyed by everything, wanted to be left alone, tired of doing everything for everyone, and simply just fed up.

Those were my excuses.

 Now, in my head I kept telling myself to get my “crap” together and snap out of it.

But I just couldn’t.

Even going to church was a struggle.

I know! “What did she just say?!”

Sometimes there are days I don’t want to go to church.

Heck, there are lots of those days! I mean…I wanna stay home, stay in my jammies, and extend my last day off work as long as possible.

Are ya with me here?

BUT…I know when I go to church, am surrounded by like-minded believers, and hear the word God has placed on my pastors heart for me to hear, I feel filled. Plus the Bible says clearly we are not to give up meeting together in his name.

No, I didn’t feel as full as I typically do when I went just this most recent Sunday. And after about a week or so I’m just now seeing the light from the dark pit.

And all I can say is…


Can we just park for a second on Hebrews?

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet without sin. Let us then approach the throne of GRACE with confidence, so that we may receive MERCY and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16

Can I get an AMEN?!

My God was tempted just as we struggle with temptation today.

Temptation of the flesh.

We want to give into the devil who is encouraging us to use words that hurt rather than help. When he presses us to think of ourselves for a change we jump on the bandwagon. That little urging to be selfish calls in our ear and we don’t think it’ll hurt if just this once we give in.

We all do it.

We all put ourselves before others at one time or another.

And that means we are putting ourselves in front of God.

 But that doesn’t have to be the end for us.

Yes, we will mess up daily!

But that is when we grab onto God’s grace, let him be our strength, and thank him for his abundant mercy!

So you see….

We aren’t failures, frauds, hypocrites, or the like.

We are human.

Humans created by God and we are so dearly loved.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved… -Colossians 3:12a

All we can do is our best for that day and rely on God and his word to get us through.

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